Happy New Year! (My First Blog Post!)

                     Happy New Year to you all!  Yeah, I know that was a while ago- I’m always behind the times…I’ve been thinking of doing this since the actual New Year.  I decided since today is my birthday, it’s a new year for me and a good time to just do it!  If you are reading this, [insert echo effect] Welcome to My Resolution!  Here I am, in my second adolescence, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  Didn’t I do this already?  Where is the freaking guidance counselor in this joint?  Since I’ve stopped drinking the Dora Kool Aid, I have a little free time before I have jump back into the workforce. (As what is anyone’s guess…) Any other full time mom will tell you that they love their job and would never trade it.  All true.  But do they ever ‘fess up to the fact that the monotony can make you crazy?   (Really, I have to feed you again?) And honestly, I was a little crazy to start…

         So I thought I’d shake things up and give this blog thing a whirl.  I like to think I’m funny.  (I always laugh at my jokes.)  I am definitely a little “funny” and like to laugh at the little absurdities of everyday life.  The definition of “touched in the head” is slightly demented or mentally deficient.  I often feel both.  (I know that I am smart but it is a random jumble of knowledge that serves me no purpose in the “real” world. Unless that purpose is playing Trivial Pursuit and how often does that happen?! )

         I’m also a “mental” (you can chose which kind of mental I mean) wanderer. My mind works like a poorly designed flow chart.  Thoughts elbow each other around and the ones who work their way to the front are not the most useful.  It’s not that I can’t see the forest for the trees; it’s just that I can’t see the forest because that tree stump over there is hogging my attention.  (It’s shaped like a butt.)  What can I say? I’m easily distracted. 

         It would be bad enough that the physical world distracts me all the time but I often have these Wonder Years/Scrubs inner montages scrolling behind my eyes.  No wonder I’m always late and confused!  I think a steady childhood diet of Twinkies and sitcoms has affected me on a molecular level.  (Did you ever read the ingredients of Twinkies? With a child’s rapid cell division, that couldn’t have been good for me.)

         Damaged by Hostess or not, nowadays, I am a slightly irregular stay home mom who has no fabulous advice for you. I will never be able to set a beautiful holiday table or tell you how to get stains out of carpet. (Put a towel over it.) I would rather laugh than cook dinner.  In fact, I often make breakfast for dinner.  I’m not a super-Suzy-homemaker.  I won’t be bragging about the wonderful sachets I embroidered.  I’m not even the best mom ever.  My children are not able to embroider French poetry on the nonexistent sachets and I often mess up dinner and forget things.   But they love me anyway and they always feel loved (I hope) and we laugh all the time. 

         So! What will this blog be about?  It won’t be a brag fest. I guess ‘cause I’m a mom there will be a bunch of parenting craziness.  BUT I’m also a wife, a human and once, I was a child. (I’m still often childish.)  I guess I am going to share some of my rambling thoughts with you.  Let you see things as I see them.  I can find a laugh in almost everything.  It’s my type of humor but is it yours?  I hope I will make you chuckle.  If I do, psst, pass it on… (If not, bug off!)

P.S.  I am planning to post tomorrow and then every Tuesday.  (Because who has the time to do anything extra on Monday?!) And, they definitely won’t be long rambly diary posts.  Short and amusing is my goal.  Y’all come back now, ya’hear?