When I started thinking about the blog
thing, I wasn’t sure that I would have enough to post. At the suggestion of a friend, I challenged
myself to write a bunch of entries and go ahead if I got to a certain number. Since I wasn’t posting “live”, my posts were
kind of structured like essays. I didn’t
want them to be too long because I’ve seen a bunch of these long rambly,
on-line diaries. I only ever make it
through a few paragraphs. That could be
because of my short attention span but I’m thinking that in this
incessant-information-flow era, we all have Adult ADD…
Well, since I have this stockpile of
essays, I haven’t had to do too much lately.
But I keep jotting down ideas from day to day life for when I start up
again. I find myself now with a huge
list of absurdities! And every day
there is more craziness. I don’t know if
there is actual absurdity all around or if it’s just me. Maybe both.
I am thinking I might start posting a couple of times a week instead of
only once. So pop in when you have a chance…
What are these absurdities, you ask?
Well, I’ll tell you! To start, I saw a
pregnant lady at the gym. PREGNANT! What the hell?! I almost launched myself off of the torture
device I was unhappily on to tackle her.
BUT, that would be wrong. So I just stared with evil, dagger eyes. Isn’t pregnancy the one time that we (women)
are allowed carte blanche?? We can eat
what we want, gain some weight and exercise less with no judgments!! This jerk wanted to
walk around in gym clothes to show off what wonderful a specimen she was: not
bloated, no arm waddles, no walking
waddle! So I loathed her (and my waddles) and concluded that she must be damaged. NO ONE can like to exercise that much. Wonder what happened in her childhood…
And, speaking of damaged and childhood,
did anyone see the lady who took her daughter to the tanning salon with
her? She claims her daughter just stayed
in the room and later got sunburned playing in the yard. A teacher noticed the sunburn, overheard the
girl talking and reported the incident. The mother thinks everyone, unfairly,
overreacted. (To be honest, last week,
my son had sunburn from too much time outside and no one reported me for
neglect; though I punished my self with plenty of mother-guilt.) The difference
is that it’s safe to say the mother is bonkers and
this is the first time they had something concrete to report. The mother looks like Al Jolson (in
blackface) with blonde hair. On purpose. I’m guessing that’s just the crazy we
outsiders can see. Inside must be a
whole swirling, typhoon of crazy. When I first heard it on the news, I thought “Wow! I can’t wait to read the girl's memoir in 20 years!” How wrong is that?!?
But think about some great memoirs - Jeanette Walls’ The Glass Castle or Mary Karr’s The Liars Club.
Insane parents = great stories! My
parent did some crazy things but I’ll never get a best seller out of it. Which is not to say I’m glad she has an insane mother;
she has a rough road ahead of her. She
probably doesn’t even know her parents (have to assume the dad is crazy too,
look who he married!) are crazy yet. I
hope, at the point she realizes how bananas her family is, she has a wonderful
English teacher and that she channels her anger into writing instead of
narcotics. She deserves a chart topper
for what lies ahead. I'm just wondering if I can
pre-order it on Amazon already...
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