Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Moments of Super



            A few days ago I took my kids to NYC to shove some culture down their throats.  I know it sounds crass to say it that way but that would be their interpretation.  I don’t know if it’s everyone’s kids or just mine but taking them to a museum is evidence (to them) of my cruelty.  They would rather sit at home on their butts while their muscles and brains wither…  Knowing this, I gave them a few days to mentally bulk up.  I spoke in short sentences so they could understand despite their mental summer-slide: “We are going to the City on Friday.  We are going to MOMA.  We are going to see all different kids of art.  We ARE doing this.”
            So we headed out on Friday morning with minimal complaining.  I guess they had mentally braced themselves. (And were looking forward to meeting up with Dad at the end of the day.)  I was feeling hopeful!  Everything would be great!
            The train ride in reinforced all those great feelings.  A man boarded the train after us and sat across the aisle after a wary glance- I guess he wanted to read his paper in peace.  But my children were delightful.  My oldest read and my two younger ones were chatting sweetly and practicing sign language they had learned from a book.  I swelled with pride.  “Look how wonderful they are!”  I mentally told the man-of-the-wary-glance.  “I must be a wonderful mother!”
            And it got even better!  He asked if they were all mine and then said they were great.  Duh, of course they are! (Well, at that particular moment…)  Rising to the occasion, the two youngers asked for multiplication problems.  I started throwing out problems and they were getting them (almost) all correct.  They wary-man even joined in throwing a few math problems their way.  When we exited the train he told us to have a great time. (And I am certain that he regaled his officemates with a tale of the most delightful children he had ever seen!)
            I exited the train with maternal afterglow.  It was one of those wonderful parenting moments that you want to hold onto forever.  A rare moment when you believe you’re doing a great job.  (As opposed to the millions of other moments in a day that you are sure that you are failing them and/or doing irreparable damage.)  It was awesome.  I keep going back to that wonderful moment.  Because it didn’t last…
            A subway ride later, we arrived at the museum.   I had been so sure that once they saw some funky stuff that they would have some strong opinions and we might have some great discussions.  (And they would decide that I wasn’t torturing them.)  Hahahahahha!  They turned the tables and started torturing me.  The girls were whining and wanting to eat.  The boy declared he wasn’t hungry and would not eat.  (And he gets surlier and more contrary the longer he goes without eating- meaning it was only going to go downhill from here!) I would deal with this!   Today, I am super mom!
            So, I tortured them for a few hours. And, when they didn’t want to listen to me any more, they did want to listen to the free audio guides.  Buying me just a little more time.  The best quote of the day was when I asked them what they were interested in seeing next.  My son mournfully declared, “The only art I’m interested in seeing are benches and the exit.”  He’s lucky that I thought it was funny and was still full of good cheer.  I stretched them as long as was possible without risking a complete breakdown. 
            When I finally gave up, we headed out to meet dad and return home. The complaining eased up with the excitement of seeing dad’s cool office.  We all arrived feeling groovy.  On the train ride home, I was mentally reviewing the day and was still trying to hold onto my fleeting triumph.  They did grant me a few more good feelings by not complaining over sore feet or the boring ride home.  Possibly they were riding the euphoria of culture suffered, survived and over.  (For now!) I don’t know if they retained much but we did have some fun.  And I had those few precious moments of validation (or delusion, I don’t really care which!) that I was a Super-Mom.   Priceless!



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