Dreams

            Is there anything more tedious that listening to your kids relating a dream they had?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I know how quickly they grow.  I know that someday I will miss the morning wake up routine but I don’t think I will miss the dream dissertations…

            Why are they so boring?!  It’s hard to follow a story with no plot and dreams rarely do.  And there are always these random people that I don’t know just showing up. “And then this girl Julie walked in with an antelope.”  At times, it seems as if the dreamer hasn’t worked out the details before starting to explain.  There are often long pauses while they try to remember what happened next.  Argg!

            Then, as if it wasn’t bad enough listening to it the first time, there are also many revisions.  So you have to re-listen to new versions of what you just heard.  “No, not Julie.  Was it Jenny?  And it might have been an elephant… Then we were at IHOP no, wait, McDonald’s. Oh, I forgot to tell you the part before that!  I think… the principal was there…”

            Kids and grownups differ in their dream telling.  Kids seem to just want to relate every last detail from beginning to end.  It’s hard to cut them short and they like to embellish.  Grownups don’t have to recount every detail but there is time added because they are often trying to figure out why something happened as they are telling it.  So you are suffering through the dream and the analysis!  “Then there was this cat.  It’s so funny I feel like I’ve seen that cat before.  Where have I seen a cat lately?... Hmmm… Anyway the cat says to me…Oh, I know!  I saw the cat on Main Street the other day.  Oh, I was thinking about the dry cleaners before I fell asleep, that’s what made me think of the cat I guess…So anyway…” (Yes, I am talking about myself.)

            It’s rarely fun listening to someone describing a dream they had.  It has to be one helluva dream to be interesting to anyone but the dreamer. Even knowing that, I try to tell my dreams to my kids and husband. I always forget they won’t be interested in my dream (and accompanying analysis) so I trail off halfway through when they glaze over.  The blank look reminding me to cut it short or just to drop it.

            The problem is that when they are recounting their dreams to me, I am too polite.  I make those nice sounds “Really?” or “How funny!” Which invites them to add more. It would be nice if we could just snuggle up and I could pretend I am listening while I am making a mental shopping list but usually they are yammering and staring into space instead of getting dressed or eating breakfast.  I am trying to pack lunches and cattle-prod people into shoes and coats.  I may be murmuring interested sounds but my face and body are betraying me.  They accuse, “Are you even listening?” “Yes, yes, she had an antelope.  Zipper your coat.”

            I don’t want them to know that I find them less than riveting sometimes.  They think they are the center of my universe.  Most of the time they are; but not at dream retelling time.  During dream retelling, it’s as if I am back in HS physics class.  Glazing over and in danger of falling out of my seat. I hope they don’t remember me being uninterested and bring it up years from now as the tipping point that put them into therapy.  I am wondering if I can create one kick-ass dream-listening experience that they can remember into adulthood as the way I always acted.  One weekend, I should listen raptly to each one while I hand them candy and hot chocolate and tell them “you are so wonderful” every few moments.  Then I will take them out and let them drive the car in the yard.  I don’t think that could be topped!  It will be so wonderful it will override every crappy dream response I give for the next 15 years.  Don’t you think?