Planning for Next Year's Holiday Season?

The twelve days of Christmas have officially ended with the arrival of the Magi.  The tree is limp and dry and it's time to dismantle the holidays.  As I pack up our treasured ornaments for another year, I am kind of glad it's all over.  (I'm tired.  And stuffed!)  As I think back over the great times, I think about what this next year will bring.  About the good and the bad of the Christmas season.  Of some new ideas for next year's holiday onslaught....

     Ah, the holiday season!  Peace on Earth!  Goodwill toward men!  We smile at strangers on the street.  We love everyone!  But then the actual holiday arrives.  Along with the family… [Cue scary music]  Of course, I love my family and am not talking about them.  I am only sharing what I am overhearing them saying about me.  No, no, no… 

For years, I have listened as friends groaned about the approaching holidays.  They anticipate the fights and stresses.  The holidays put us on our best behavior for others but not always for our family.  We fall back into the roles from our childhoods.  Old resentments color the way we hear every passing statement.  Often taking harmless remarks [okay, maybe not harmless but maybe/hopefully not as charged as usual] and making them seem like a blanket criticism on the way you live your life, the way you raise your children, even your haircut!  Add to that the same story that your dad has told you a million times, the way your mom clears her throat and trying to get a perfect meal together?  It’s enough to make you snap.

I’ve been thinking of a way to remind everyone to behave a little nicer.  Maybe a visual reminder?  A cute little plaque or a peace dove?  I started thinking about how everyone gathers around the table for a meal.  A turkey to carve, maybe a ham or lasagna.  Then I started thinking about how dangerous it is that we are always armed with cutlery and deadly electric knives just when emotions are running dangerously high. 

I’ve got it!  What about a little bottle of crime scene solvent as part of the centerpiece?!?  A little reminder that we’re only this close to being on the news…  “One snide comment from you, Aunt Jenny, and I could be trying to scrub your blood out of the grout before the police arrive.” A little miracle bottle of solvent could keep everyone on their best behavior.  Florists could integrate it into a beautiful arrangement .  Harry and David could sell it in their catalogues and grocery stores could put it at the end of the aisles with the canned yams!  I think I am on to something.  If I start production now I can have it on the shelves for next year…..