Curious Reflections From My Pink Recliner

Soon I am going to have to talk about things other than surgery and recovery! But since thats all that's going on for me right now you're stuck with it...

Trot Those Kids Out...

One night, a couple of days after I came home from the hospital, the kids had come upstairs to my bedroom after school and then again after dinner to hang out.  They were sweet and funny and so charming.  After they went back down to do homework and be with their grandparents, I got a little emotional.  (Lack of sleep and being overwhelmed.) I was all, "Oh my God, these kids are so wonderful. I love them so much.  They are such awesome people. We are so blessed!"  Though I am not so emotional about it, I do usually feel this way about them.  Except for those times I want to throttle them.  (Which happens often enough in the day to day!)

I realized that parenting is all the magical wonderfulness that you dream it will be WHEN you don't actually have to DO the parenting.  My in laws (and J of course) were feeding them, driving them, overseeing homework, breaking up the fights and doing all the dirty work.  I just got to relax in my chaise lounge (read: groovy pink, rented, vinyl hospital recliner that someone probably died in)  like a baroness.  I felt like all those books where the governess just trots the progeny in after dinner to perform acts of grace and charm.  Then shoos them away so the baroness can entertain guests. (Or in my case, watch reruns of Big Bang.) How wonderful!

The next night, I was telling the eldest how much I loved her as she was leaving the room.  And I decided to share my theory and how I was so charmed by them all.  On her way out she said, "Don't worry we'll fix that soon enough!" Now that I'm up and about I'm wondering, does anyone know where I can find a governess?  Cheap?

Oxycodone

My last day in the hospital, I was moved from ICU to a regular floor and my pain pump was taken away.  (So sad.) They started giving me Precocet.  I had C-Secs and had had it before but had forgotten the questions that go along with taking it.  Everyone becomes very interested in your bowels.  What are they doing? What have they done recently?  There is no dignity in the hospital. Ack- I am very open about lots of things but this?  I'd rather everyone think my waste by-products are daisies and sunshine.  But, because Percocet slows "everything" down, they have to monitor the situation and prevent a, let's say "work stoppage". (I was tempted to write a Code B---- but didn't want to be crass.  I'll let YOU fill in the blanks and be the crass one!)

So, they plied me with other pills to counteract the slowdown and sent me home with instructions to "watch it".  When I got home and it came time that I needed a pill, I looked at the prescription bottle.  I knew that Precocet was  Tylenol with a kicker but, call me obtuse, I never realized that it was Oxycodone.  I had a big, HUH? moment.  On the news, we are constantly hearing about people doctor shopping and addicted and holding up pharmacies for Oxycodone.  I was shocked that this was it.  While it made me tired, it wasn't so great. Maybe because it was 1-2 per dose and I only took 1.  (Maybe I should've taken more for the grooviness BUT I only took one because I was worried about, you know.)

Anyway, it got me thinking...  Are all these addicts dangerously constipated?!?!  On the news, they always talk about the Oxcodone that was stolen. By I'm wondering, are they also stealing laxatives? Or, eeww, enemas?!?  Holy Cow!! Maybe that should be something that they talk about in the HS drug programs? I think that would be a good way of deterring kids from trying it.  "Hey kids, before you dip into Granny's medicine cabinet, let me tell you something." and finish with, "So the next time you're stealing someone's pills, make sure you take the Ex-Lax and enemas too!"  I think that might make at least one kid think twice...

P.S. I know the hard core people are snorting it but wouldn't it do the same thing no matter the delivery system? Could it be they are not so desperate to get more because of the high?  Maybe it's needed to ease the stomach cramps?  Well- that would be a vicious cycle.  How lovely would it be if we could cure all those addicts with a Prune Clinic....